The Brilliance of the Bored

The Brett Rolfe took this photo this morning in Glebe, Sydney. It's very clever. I sickly hope it's part of a marketing campaign - but fear it's to clever for that.

What Marketers Want - In Their Own Words

The attached is an article as it appeared in The Australian on August 3, 2009. Naked Communications and Booz & Company have jointly conducted research looking into the pressures faced by marketers, and how they are responding. This article summarises the findings of the qualitative stage of the study.

Forensic Shopping Investigation II: Shopping For Religion

When I was 16 my friend Cam and I went out one night shopping for a religion. Well, we were not really shopping for a religion, as much as minding our own business when we were accosted by scientologists on the street who coerced us to come inside their 'church'. I remember it very clearly.

Once inside, we were immediately separated, and each asked to fill in a long questionnaire, as they were going to ‘audit’ our personality. After about an hour, questionnaire completed, I was asked to watch a video whilst it was marked. The video had the classic disorienting hypnosis spiral thing, as well as someone espousing the virtues of Scientology. After viewing I went back and got the results from my personality audit. Apparently, I had a very bad personality, and needed a lot of help. At this point I left and waited for my friend (who I had remained separated from). When he finally came out he had bought a book, and signed up for a course after also being told he had a very bad personality. Not a surprising result for an impressionable teen.

It was this early experience that got me interested in religion and cults and the blurring of the line. So last week I went back to The Church of Scientology (COS) to see how their methods had progressed in the intervening 20 years.

I walked past the 'free personality and IQ tests' sign, and into a shabby makeshift building, and asked the shabby lady behind the desk what the COS was all about. Guess what she said? Yes, the classic a) do the personality test, b) watch a video, c) I get the results. Good to see their recruitment methods haven't changed in over 20 years!

I completed the questionnaire and was ushered into a small, black room where I watched a video in surround sound on a very large screen. The video was beyond imaginable cheesy (like a send up of a cult recruitment video). It was hosted by a Ken doll impersonator, and showed lots of well dressed, shiny, white toothed Americans, smiling to camera. It's painful to recite how bad the movie was - pure propaganda, talking up L Ron Hubbard's many achievements (he was "fully proficient in 59 different fields"), and demonstrating the opulent assets of the COS. Just one of the silly quotes was:

"Psychology and psychiatry are proven failures...stone age" (said in a melodramatic voice, by a camp looking professor)

Anyway, bad video. The fun really stops when I got my test results back. Just like last time I am told I have a very bad personality (at least the test shows good test re-test reliability - joke). Diane takes me through my results - you can see the table below. According to the test the three scales that are about 'Me' show that I am completely Unstable, very Depressed, and very Nervous. The scales to do with 'Work' show I'm Active and Aggressive, and totally irresponsible. And the last scales, how I relate to 'Others', show I'm very Critical, and have a Lack of Accord with others. This was Diane's cue to tell me how depressing my life was, and how much I needed help. Any resistance I put up to this was met with - "well your personality shows you are aggressive so of course you are not going to agree." The circular conversation lasted an hour or so, and would have gone on all night if it had to as Diane had one objective only - and that was to make me feel bad about my life so that she could provide the answer and sign me up.

This was not nice, in fact - it was very confronting. She told me her personality was 'Clear' (she had a good one) - but my personality was so bad that it needed "urgent attention". Mainly to get a break from her I asked to take the IQ test. I've always been good at taking IQ tests (this correlates highly with getting good IQ scores) so I knew if the IQ test marked me as a dullard then the whole thing really was bogus. Interestingly the IQ test came back quite high. This made me happy (and smug) but didn't do much for my relationship with Diane. She immediately reminded me of how unhappy I apparently was and insisted I sign up (and pay for) now for a 2 day course happening that weekend. The course was only $135.00. Bait.

Anyway, I used the tried and tested excuse of having to talk it over with my wife before I signed (see Forensic Shopping I) and at 10.30pm I emotionally limped my way out of there. Thoughtful Diane gave me a personality questionnaire to give my wife so she could find out how unhappy she was as well.

In short, I felt pressured and attacked. I was made to feel bad about my lfe so that they could then supply the answer. The recruitment techniques they used are tired and corny. Further, it felt to me like there was a lot of evidence of cult like behaviours as outlined in Raphael Aaron's book called 'Cults: Too Good To Be True'. For example:

1. Language loading: Changing language to make it unique to the cult (i.e. 'clear' and 'auditing')
2. Demand for Purity: You're in or your out, and if you're out you're wrong. In their own words if you don't do Scientology it's your choice but "...it's a stupid choice. You can also jump off a bridge or blow your brains out".
3. Confession: Admitting something bad that's happened to you. This promises to set you free but in effect binds you to the group (They really wanted to know about the loss that happened dusing my childhood!)
4. Doctrine over person: Their worship of L Ron Hubbard
5. Sacred Science: The belief that their belief is right for all humanity

Also, for the record I'm a relatively happy, stable and calm person (albeit a little weird). I've taken many scientifically validated psychological tests in the past (through training, and professional interest) and all point to a significantly different personality profile than the one suggested by the COS. I believe the personalty test they offered was designed purely to make oneself feel bad about their current life.

It must be said I came into this shopping investigation with an open mind, yet also a preconceived notion of what COS may be like. So, to provide some genuine objectivity to the situation the good (and rigorous) people at Auspoll, put some questions forward to 1,500 Australians representative of the general population. They found that 85% of Australians do not believe the COS is a real religion.

Further, 76% agree it's a 'money making scam' (only 4% disagree with this statement), whilst 89% disagree (or strongly disagree) that it's a good religion to join.

So there you have it. After my experience I would avoid the COS if at all possible. I would read up on cults, and I would look at websites such as Wikipedia or Operation Clambake (so named as L Ron Hubbard believes that man evolved from clams!) The Scientologists' website is here and offers a different perspective. Looking for a religion to buy/join feels even more potentially dangerous than trying to cure penile dysfunction. The only person I've found who educates well on the subject is the man who married me (to my wife), Father Bob McGuire. If you're in a cult (or know someone who is) and want out, then contact Raphael Aaron at Cult Counselling Australia.

This was the second in a series of Forensic Shopping Investigations.

Thoughts on These Ads?

I really like these ads. I imagine young guys would like them, read them, and potentially even take in the message. What do you think?

Aspiration versus Authenticity in Advertising

Saw this billboard for Kayser undies in Melbourne last night - and took the photo (with my Blackberry from the passenger seat of our car). Each one of these girls is supposed to represent a different body shape; Column, Pear, Apple, and Hourglass. It's a simple idea - 'we have undies for all body shapes', but is it just me or do these four bodies all look very, very similar (tall, toned, skinny and model like)? However, instead of showing the actual body shapes the skinny models are all holding literal examples of the body shape they are meant to have i.e. the 'pear' girl is holding a pear - but does not really have a 'pear shaped' body.

Getting the balance right between authenticity and aspiration is always difficult - and I would be interested in peoples reactions to this attempt? Do people really want to see 'reality' in underwear advertising, or is it acceptable to have aspirational portrayals of various body shapes? Is it cheating using the objects next to each body type instead of showing real versions of each? Thoughts?

PS: We were off to see a film called My Suicide as part of MIFF Well worth seeing if you get the chance.

Kyle and Jackie O: Some Suggestions on How to Remove Them From The Airwaves

I have written an open letter to the advertising and media industry asking for Kyle and Jackie O to be removed from the airwaves. Many people have written in and left comments, some of which have urged others to take action. Below is a list of activities people have suggested you can do to express your support:

• You can view my open letter and make comments here
• You can make a complaint to 2Dayfm here
• You can make a complaint to Austereo here
• You can join a twitter protest at #optus #stopsponsoringaustereo
• You can join a Facebook group protesting against Kyle and Jackie O to be on the air (there are many - but) here's just one
• many people also suggest contacting the sponsors of the show directly.

...and so on.

Just received an update from Twitter and Mumbrella that they have just been taken off the air. Well done to those who find their behaviour reprehensible and expressed their thoughts.